my room smells like sperm. sweet.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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