Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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