Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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