That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
