He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
