If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
