I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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