I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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