our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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