Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize