Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
