I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
