im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
