Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
