I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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