I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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