drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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