you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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