PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
