I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
