the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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