Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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