i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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