We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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