it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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