The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
