Bisexual people are plain selfish.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
