We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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