first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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