i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
