Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize