sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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