I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
