I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
