he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
