my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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