it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
