You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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