Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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