your thong is hanging out like whoa
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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