I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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