are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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