This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize