You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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