My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Still dying that you shit outside
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
