someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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