I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
