i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
