Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I need water and some morals
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
