So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
