you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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