So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
