I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Someone shattered a urinal.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
