Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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