Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
