is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
